Break My Heart AgainDestiel one-shots
by utterflop
Summary: Just a bunch of sad stuff.


There's chill in Castiel's bones, a coldness felt from within. Not because of the frost nipping at his skin, not because the autumn is brutal at that time of year, not because he's sitting alone in a park past 10pm. The silence in Castiel's soul is as heavy as the frost coating the fallen leaves. Almost unnoticeable but heavy, cold. Oh, so incredibly cold. The hollow is like a bullet hole, like a void. A dark void. A never-ending darkness that consumes everything leaving the body feeling nothing. Empty.

Not a pleasant feeling but the man realizes that sooner or later he'll just have to get used to it, suck it up, as Dean would say. He didn't feel like death itself just a couple of days ago. Approximately two days ago Castiel strolled down the street, a smile on his face and a bubbly feeling in his heart. Oh, he was so happy.

Every time it was the same. Castiel dives into the happiest memories he could find. It's all the same.

"Hey, Cas." a familiar voice emits from the phone leaving Cas lightheaded. Castiel's stomach fills with butterflies.

That's just what usually happens. After a while, Castiel realizes that he's not supposed to feel that way about his best friend. At that moment it's too late, he had stepped in too deep. The man comforts himself, hey, you cannot control your feelings, right? Oh, but he wishes he could. Now and then. It would've been so much easier.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel answers without hesitation

Dean skips the small talk, they were close friends. Castiel packs his things and drives to Dean's place. Sam is there, Benny is there. Gabriel, Charlie, Jo. The whole gang.

Castiel liked movie nights, such a simple thing gave his life so much joy, so much meaning.

They all sit around the TV, joke a bit before the movie starts. Dean always sits between Jo and Cas.

That's just the way things were.

Castiel always leans towards Dean when telling a joke. Dean laughs a bit and turns his gaze to Jo.

That's just the way things always been.

But not today.

Dean calls Castiel wanting to meet at his place.

"But it's not Friday yet..." Castiel sits in his bed

"I need you, Cas."

He needed Cas.

In seconds the man is grabbing his thing and putting his shoes on. Dean needed him. The soft tone of the man's voice gives Castiel hope. Maybe it was time, maybe it was his moment. Castiel storms out of his apartment with glee. There is a dreamy smile gracing Castiel's lips. Dean sounds so happy, so... Excited.

Now Castiel wishes he never left his apartment, the man wishes he never even answered the phone and never agreed to help Dean with his stupid thing.

"I have planned something special." Dean's speaks "And I need you."

Dean needs Cas. But not in the way Cas needs him. It should've been clear from the way Dean glances at Jo, from the way he sits with his whole body turned to her and not Cas. Maybe, because Cas never really loved someone he never got to experience the pain of loving someone.

Dean never let Castiel down. Only this one time.

Cas approaches Dean's house fairly quickly, wind in his hair and glee on his lips, a soft glimmer in the man's cerulean orbs making he appear childish. In a good way.

A single red rose behind his back.

"Hey, bud." Dean greets Castiel with open arms "You got here quick."

Castiel nods, a tacky lump begins to form in the back of his throat already. Something's not right...

He quickly hides the rose under his coat, the thorns are prickly but he doesn't show that. Something is not right, Cas feels it but the man doesn't say anything. He just nods and sits down on the couch, at his usual spot. The man doesn't feel like sitting somewhere else than the corner. The middle is where Jo Dean usually sits.

Dean brings him a beer and sits down next to him, Castiel clenches his sweaty fists, his back sticking to the shirt. He doesn't show it, he doesn't ask Dean to turn the heating off. The green-eyed man stares at Castiel with a faint smile gracing his plump lips, the man knows, he is not the cause of that smile.

Dean, after a moment of soft but heavy silence, speaks, his voice jumps like an excited puppy. Castiel notices how shaky Dean's hands are, his hands are shaky too but he just sits there, silent.

"I'm in love, Cas."

Castiel's inner tremor intensifies, Dean looks at him with a sweet smile on his lips and Castiel hopes that it's not a dream.

"I have to tell you something..."Castiel's voice falters, he's gripping the rose under his coat

"I wanted you to know first." Dean continues speaking "You're my best friend, you're like a brother to me, Cas..."

Of course.

Castiel's lips twitch into a frowny smile, he nods lightly, showing his understanding meanwhile his insides are screaming.

"Jo and I..." Dean starts

Castiel breaks apart. His face is calm and emotionless, he feels his eyes brim with tears. He just shrugs it off and pats Dean on the shoulder.

"We've been dating for a while now and I think it's time to tell everyone." Dean smiles "We're getting married, Cas."

Castiel smiles right back at him. His heart breakinginto pieces and tears clouding his eyes. Dean glances at his friend with slight confusion.

"I am so happy for you." Castiel manages to utter

He wraps his arm around Dean's shoulders and gives him a supportive squeeze.

Dean is happy, Castiel feels the rose thorns against his skin, he's not going to ruin their happiness.

The rose stem is between Castiel's fingers. He rotates the flower slowly, his eyes looking somewhere past it. The rose from two days ago had wilted, Castiel sympathizes with it. His fingers grip the fragile petals and rips them off one by one, slowly. It's agonizing.

The man rises from his seat and sighs. The vibrant petals get crushed under his feet. Castiel lets out a huff, it's cold.

He decides that it's time to get back inside. It's his best friend's wedding after all.


End file.
